Fatherhood – For Dads-To-Be during Early Pregnancy
Most parents agree there is a mix of experiences as they move through the series of changes which is the rite of passage to parenthood – during pre-conception, pregnancy, labour, birth and the newborn period.
The journey is unique of course for each person who goes through it, but most people would like to find a good supportive positive source of information and help.
The transition into parenthood is filled with wonderful, exciting memories, as well as some anxiety and perhaps stress.
Do you friends and work colleagues provide lots of useful and helpful insights?
Maybe not as much as you’d like…
Are you searching for some up-to-date and balanced information?
It seems the wisest advice when contemplating the journey to parenthood is to attend informative courses, to read widely, ask plenty of questions, listen to as many friends stories as possible, and then, with an open informed mind, make decisions based on your intuition as to what seems right for you and your set of circumstances.
Keep in mind you are not having your friends experiences over again, your experience is not a re-run of theirs, so approach your turn completely fresh and new with a positive mindset and look forward to the possibilities that lie ahead.
“I just don’t want to be useless to my partner during the labour and the birth, but I don’t know what to do!”
There is no doubt having a first baby is one of the most significantly life changing event in any person’s life, so it’s worth spending time mulling over some of the important concepts beforehand, such as who will you select to help support you through this process?
Many couples find the experience of pregnancy more than they expected both in terms of adjustment and the feeling of thrill, excitement, anticipation and wonder.
The current generation of expecting parents often describe themselves as ‘pioneers’ in comparison to the previous generation, as they have so many new and wonderful options the previous generation may not have been able to select.
An example of this is the option of having their partner not only being present at the birth, but also very involved and supportive both physically and emotionally.
Many men currently expecting their first child when asked, “Was your father at your birth?” reply emphatically “No!”, and for the rare one who says “Yes!” they usually haven’t had much of a description from their father as to what occurred – you could say for previous generations it’s all a bit of a blank.
“Was your father at your birth?”
Most grown men these days have been taught by their fathers how to mow the lawn, how to change a tyre on the car, how to BBQ steak and sausages, but can’t confidently turn to their Dad and ask expectantly, “Dad. How do you support a woman during labour?” It’s a question that might possibly turn up a blank.
The vast majority of dads-to-be will be able to say “Ah well you’re asking me something that takes me back to one of the most incredible days of your mum’s and my life…on the day you were born and, by the way, because you were our first, it was a bit of a long day and night actually, we spent hours in the shower with me rubbing your mum’s back for comfort, and then she decided to rest her legs as they were getting tired, so she laid in the bath under the midwife’s instruction and then next thing she pushed you out in the bath, it was the most incredible thing I’ve ever seen in my life, truly it was like witnessing a miracle!
And then all of a sudden I remembered from our birth classes that if I wanted to receive the baby, and be the first person to hold you, to mention it to the midwife, which I did, and so she guided me easily into how to receive you. It was amazing I have never felt anything so soft and vulnerable in my life!
I’ll never forget it, I looked up at your mum and she had tears in her beautiful eyes, and she was crying and I passed you up to her arms and she held you gently and quietly talked to you and cuddled you for a long time. Son, I hope you have an experience as wonderful as that when you meet your first child for the first time. It’s a memory your mother and I cherish together, and always will.”
Julie frequently hears from the dads-to-be attending the courses that, “I just don’t want to be useless to my partner during the labour and the birth, but I don’t know what to do!”
Julie responds with many ideas and suggestions throughout the course, and she always recommend couples pick and choose what suits them best, as there are a wonderful variety of choices available to be able to create your own positive and memorable birth experience.
Underpinning all of her work in the courses is the philosophy of calmbirth® training, and that is encouraging, supporting and guiding family bonding between a couple as they prepare for the birth of their baby. To focus on the role and the value of each parent, the importance of mothers, and equally the importance of fathers in the life of their unborn and newborn baby.
With this in mind, by encouraging enjoyment rather than stress and fear during the period of the pregnancy and birth, creates the space for a more conducive atmosphere for good solid family bonding. Relaxation, joy, hope, courage, determination, togetherness creates good strong loving relationships. In a nutshell that’s what it’s all about.
The Birth and Baby Care course covers birth and baby care aspects in a very practical way, whilst the calmbirth® course guides the “thinking and feeling” preparation, and focuses on the important skills for labour.
Generally couples prefer to do both courses for the most complete preparation for labour and confidence in baby care. Whatever steps you take towards childbirth, look for the things that both inform and nurture both of you in your transition to parenthood.
It’s Julie’s passion to create an uplifting, positive, learning environment for new parents.
Talk to Julie now: (02) 9544 6441